I will trust you

Okay, so the plan is to post pictures soon. Hopefully this weekend. I did have tons of plans but I think all of them fell through, so I will have time to picture blog I hope. It's amazing what God does as we let him. The last few weeks have been really rough but it's amazing how much God teaches me about myself and about Him when I am in the valley. I love those mountains He gives us while struggling too. Sometimes they are just hills, but all the while He shows a little more of His face to us. The next few months are a huge time of transition for me. It's been really hard but so good at the same time. I stumbled on a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called "I will trust you." His sorrow is much bigger than my own, but I really like especially the last part of the song.

God I’m longing for the day to come
When this cloudy glass I’m looking through
Is shattered in a million pieces
And finally I can just see You
God you know I believe its true
I know I will see you
But until the day I do

And I will trust you, I’ll trust you
Trust you God, I will
Even when I don’t understand
Even then I will say again
You are my God
And I will trust You

And with every breath I take
And for every day that breaks
I will trust you
I will trust you
and when nothing is making sense
Even then I will say again
God I trust You
I will trust You

I know your heart is good
I know your love is strong
I know your plans for me
Are much better than my own

So I will trust you, I’ll trust you
I trust you God, I will

Even when I can’t see the end

I love that we can trust Him because we know His heart is good, His love is strong, and His plans for me are so much better than my own. Wow. Every time I think of that it blows my mind. I have some pretty good plans for myself, or so I think. But God's are so much better. May I open my heart up to Him and to His ways. Even in the midst of health problems again or transition or so many other factors, I have so many things to be thankful for. We serve an amazing and faithful God! May you learn to love Him more and more!

Have Your Way

This song from Britt Nicole is my prayer right now. God is good even when life is hard. This expresses my feelings so perfectly.

Feels like I've been here forever,
Why can't you just intervene,
Do you see the tears keep falling?
And I'm falling apart at the seams,

But you never said the road would be easy,
But you said that you would never leave.
And you never promised that this life wasn't hard,
But you promised you'd take care of me.

So I'll stop searching for the answers,
I'll stop praying for an escape,
I'll trust you God with where I am,
And believe you will have your way,
Just have your way, Just have your way,

When my friends and my family have left me
I feel so ashamed and so cold,
Remind you take broken things and turn them into beautiful

So I'll stop searching for the answers,
I'll stop praying for an escape,
I'll trust you God with where I am,
And believe you will have your way,
Just have your way, Just have your way,

Even if my dreams have died,
Even if I don't survive,
I'll still worship you with all my life,
My life, yeah,

Woah, font change. God, may this be my cry, my prayer. Have your way!

Lessons from the Israelites

So I have been reading in Exodus lately. I never noticed that before Moses went up on the mountain, God allowed 70 leaders of the Israelites to meet with Him. They had the privilege of meeting with the Most High! And then just a little while later they freaked out when Moses left. This is when all the people told Aaron to make a golden calf. AFTER they had seen God. Wow. It made me think: how often do I do that? God shows me things all the time about how amazing He is, and I forget in the next few seconds sometimes. Wow. Lately I have been thinking a lot about His plan for me. So often I expect it to go one way, yet it goes the direct opposite. I sometimes wonder what God is doing, why things look that way. But them I am reminded over and over again (because I need it) that He is in control. My life has been changing drastically the last month or so and will continue to change. It's scary, and I sometimes wonder what God is doing. But I need to remember that He is in control. Even when I get scared like the Israelites did, I don't need to go building my own golden calf. He alone is enough! Praise be to Him!

Smiles

I love it when God does something that makes you smile. He totally knows what we need when we need it! A little background--we have new neighbors from Haiti that have a nine month old little girl. Lately she has been bringing her over and leaving her with us to play for an hour or so. Today I was talking to God about stuff and I prayed that she would bring the baby over. I went about my normal business and within fifteen minutes my doorbell rang! I got to play with the cutest baby in the whole world for awhile! The mom only speaks Creole and French, neither or which I can speak at all. Haha. But we smile and wave and laugh over her daughter. That's enough :).

God has been busy here. He has clearly directed me regarding next year. Email me if you want more info :). May you feel His love and presence today!

Water

Our water was cut off, I think, for no reason at all. This is the third time this has happened. I got home from the gym, really excited to shower, and then there was no water. And the last couple times this has happened, it took a while to get it turned on again. Then it hit me. I HAVE water. IN MY HOUSE. Mostly clean water, at least for showering and stuff. What a blessing that is. I should be thankful for the water I usually have instead of complaining about the water I don't have for a couple days. Thank you Lord for reminding me that you are good, even when crazy things happen. I am thankful that He reminds us of our blessings!

Soft Hearts

So I was reading today in Exodus 9 about the plagues of the livestock. Moses warned Pharoah that if he would not let them go, only the Egyptian livestock would be sick, not the Israelite livestock. And that's just what happened:

Ex 9:1-7

9:1 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Go to Pharaoh and say to him, 'This is what the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, says: "Let my people go, so that they may worship me." 2 If you refuse to let them go and continue to hold them back, 3 the hand of the LORD will bring a terrible plague on your livestock in the field — on your horses and donkeys and camels and on your cattle and sheep and goats. 4 But the LORD will make a distinction between the livestock of Israel and that of Egypt, so that no animal belonging to the Israelites will die.'"

5 The LORD set a time and said, "Tomorrow the LORD will do this in the land." 6 And the next day the LORD did it: All the livestock of the Egyptians died, but not one animal belonging to the Israelites died. 7 Pharaoh sent men to investigate and found that not even one of the animals of the Israelites had died. Yet his heart was unyielding and he would not let the people go.

NIV

It amazes me that Pharaoh SENT MEN to investigate, and found that it was true, yet still his heart was unyielding. It made me think: how often is my heart like that. God says He will do something, I see the evidence, and yet I don't open my heart. Well, I might open it for awhile but then the next time the trial comes, I forget that God did exactly what He said He would do! I want a soft heart, a yielding heart. May I fully and completely believe God!

It's a Totally Different World

Just a little funny moment from the day that reminded me these kids I teach are growing up SO differently than I did! Most of my students get picked up by a chauffeur. One of my girls has always had the same chauffeur, but the last week he has not been there. I asked her about it and she launched into a long story about what happened. I won't get into it, but at the end she was like "Miss Seeman, do you want a chauffeur?" I told her that first I want/need a car. She proceeded to tell me "Well we had a black Bentley (pronounced Bentaley :)) but we gave it to my dad's friend. Or else you could have it." Hmmm, I don't think she quite realizes how much that car is worth, or that you don't just give away cars. Haha. I think she didn't know the word for "sold," but even if she did, she has no idea that I could never ever afford that car. But it did give Miss Metzler (pronounced Metzaler by said little girl) a good secret laugh :).

Oh, and on the subject of cars, the kids told me that Santa could bring me one. Unfortunately, one didn't appear beneath the tree :).